Archive | November, 2012

All a Woman Needs to Know, She Can Learn from Gone With the Wind

25 Nov

Thanksgiving weekend is time to spend with family and friends. It’s also a great time to catch up on quality television. This weekend, I spent 235 minutes watching Gone With the Wind. Not only is the film cinematically beautiful, but a woman can truly learn everything she ever needs to know about men watching this film. I know what you’re thinking – this film is from 1939. Male and female relationships evolved since then. After watching the film, I wholeheartedly disagree. The confusing, messed up, and over-analyzed relationships between males and females are as confusing, messed up, and over-analyzed as they’ll ever be. Plus, if you are still single (and around my age), you really don’t have anything to lose by learning from your predecessors in the game of love. So listen up ladies, Gone With the Wind holds some secrets to relationship success:

I Love You: Throughout the film, men fall all over Scarlett. The most interesting element of her love interests is that the men who love her don’t know her for very long, yet say “I love you” quickly and easily. The one time SHE says “I love you” and “I want to marry you” first, she’s rejected by her beloved Ashley. It makes you wonder…is saying “I love you” really that hard for a man? I argue, no, it’s not. Further, are men turned off by a woman initiating the first move? You bet your ass. Allow me to explain. Men know, after a short amount of time, whether they love a woman. Same goes for if they want to marry a woman. The problem is, most women can’t wait for this moment to naturally occur. They say “I love you” first or pressure for the ring. This makes men run for the hills, prolongs the process, or even puts it into the long term/maybe never bucket. If you are pressuring him, ask yourself why. Is it because you’re afraid he’ll never say it/do it at all? Like Scarlett to Ashley? If that’s the case, you need to take a really careful look at your relationship. If it’s because you are simply impatient, you need to relax. He loves you. You know he does. Let him do it on his own terms.

Marriage Material: At the beginning of the film, poor Scarlett O’Hara overhears an unpleasant conversation about her. The point of the conversation is simple: men don’t marry women like Scarlett. She’s outspoken, pragmatic, independent, rebellious, sometimes irrational…wait, Scarlett actually sounds a lot like me. Do men really not marry women like Scarlett? If they do marry women like Scarlett (in the film, Scarlett marries three times) are these marriages doomed from the get-go?  At the end of the day, women like Scarlett push the good ones away (like Rhett Bulter) because we (yes, I’m including myself here) are always going after something that doesn’t exist…like the asshole bad boy who leads you on and treats you like crap, yet we think will eventually change (like Ashley). So, are women like Scarlett, myself, and many others marriage material? Sure. However, what we  need to learn is that no man wants to be with a woman who is not easy to be with. If we are always looking for the next best thing (or something that doesn’t exist at all) we are going to be up a creek without a paddle…alone.

Alcohol Consumption Makes the Idiot: Listen up, ladies. When you’re hammered, you’re an idiot around guys. You are either too flirty, too fiesty, too forward…and there are a few other choice “f” words I can fathom. In Gone with the Wind, Scarlett takes a liking to brandy…and drinks to cope with her failed marriages and unrequited love for Ashley. In turn, we regularly find Scarlett guzzling, hiccuping, or saying things she wishes she could take back. The fun part about this analysis is that Scarlett was aware of her actions, yet it didn’t exactly deter her from future initiations. Additionally, none of the men left her for making an ass out of herself. However, what I did notice was men did look at her differently post-incident. I’m convinced that after a woman makes a hot mess of herself post-cocktailing, a man doesn’t see her in the same light. Instead, they find it semi-comical, yet don’t respect her in the same way they may have previously. Take note, girls. How do you want to be seen?

I’ve Had It: The very last line of the movie is when Rhett is leaving Scarlett. He’s given her everything, loved her for years, and yet, she was (frankly) a bitch. Once Melanie dies and Scarlett learns Ashley never really loved her, Scarlett runs home and tries to patch things up with Rhett. However, it’s too late. As Scarlett cries out asking what should she do and where should she go, Rhett turns and strongly replies “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” He walks away, leaving Scarlett trying to figure out a plan to get him back. The movie ends and we never know if she was able to get him back. The lesson here is simple: yes, men can take a lot from women. However, there gets to a point when enough is enough. Relationships need to be nurtured. Women need to be kind. Men who give their everything to another deserve honesty and respect in return. Time and time again do we hear stories of overbearing, controlling women who are downright mean to the men in their lives. They do this because they are confident no matter what they do, the man won’t leave. Rest assure, men do have a breaking point, no matter how passive and understanding they may appear. Relationships are not something to take for granted…as Rhett showed us, they can be gone in a heartbeat.

Every woman should watch Gone with the Wind. Not only can you learn how to snag a good guy (and keep him), but it’s a sure-fire confidence boost. If the amazing and beautiful Scarlett O’Hara can consistently mess up her love life, I think we modern women can be a little less hard on ourselves as we continuously learn from our mistakes.

I want to hear from you! Please leave your comments. I love responding.


Working From Home Blues

2 Nov

This week, Hurricane Sandy paralyzed the Northeast. New York City-where I work and reside-was severely affected. The city’s famous subway system is under water. A mandatory carpool established. Lower Manhattan is still without power. Those with severe issues are worried about their safety and trying to regain life’s necessities (hot water, power, etc). My heart breaks for them. Those of us lucky enough to avoid severe damage are trying to restore some sense of normalcy. This includes trying to conduct business as usual from our makeshift home offices because we can’t get into the city.

I haven’t been able to get to my office all week. Currently, I am on day #4 of working from home. I’m cracking.

When I relayed to my friends and family I’ve been working from home all week, the majority said “lucky!” I can absolutely see why people think this. I mean, with the idea of pajamas all day, TV in the background, and endless snacks…who wouldn’t love the idea of working from home?

Take it from me…working from home sucks. Allow me to count the ways, in descending order…

#5: Office Space

When you’re at work, you know you’re at work. You have a cube/office/desk, etc. You have a specific height to your chair. You have Double Bubble hidden in your top drawer. You know when you leave your desk, it’s a psychological signal that you are “away” from work. Guess what? When you work from home, all of this blends together like those double layered Jell-O pudding cups that mush together as soon as you insert the spoon. You don’t get to draw the line between home and office…your home becomes your office. So not cool.

#4: Personal Hygiene

You usually shower before you go to work. When you take bathroom breaks, that means you are usually, for a few minutes, not working. When you are working from home, you can be interrupted at any given time. I’ve actually started taking my Android to the bathroom with me. I’ve also hopped out of the shower at least twice this week because I saw the green light blinking on my phone. I’m not proud. Meatball problems.

#3: Love Handles

When you’re at work, you have designated meal times. You also either buy your lunch or bring it. When you finish it, it’s gone. Unless you keep your cabinets empty on the regular, if you work from home, everything is an excuse to eat…because it’s there. I’ve even started to theme my food intake by work task. Presentations = Goldfish cracker consumption. Emails from X = Halloween candy. Brainstorming = Granola bars. I have a very tiny Halloween costume to wear this weekend. I need to be stopped.

#2: Distractions

Do I ever want to take out the trash? No. Do I ever eagerly await the mailman? No. Did the toilet need to be cleaned today? No. For some unexplained reason, I find all of these tasks fascinating while working from home. I itch to do them. Is this normal? No. But gosh, these tasks sound so much more fun than sitting at my kitchen table all day.

#1: Scaring Your Husband/Friend/Roommate

I have two roommates. Some of you have a husband/wife/friend living with you. Regardless of who you are living with, if you are like me, my working from home days consist of lots of conference calls on speakerphone, computer chords everywhere, and lots of swearing at the screen. Effectively, I’ve scared the crap out of my roommates. Not only do they never want to work in corporate, but they’ve seen a side of me reserved only for my cubical. Me-owwww.

After reading these reasons why working from home stinks, my hope is that you realize the novelty wears off quickly. Working from home every once in a while is great. Four days and counting? Caged animal status.

Author’s Note: For any and all affected by Hurricane Sandy, my thoughts are with you. For those of you not affected, please donate blood and money to your favored organization to help with relief efforts.